She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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