I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
