Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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