Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
