i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
