now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
