ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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