i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
