He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
