We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
