Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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