i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
