I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
