Taylor Swift is so right about you.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
