I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
