i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
false alarm. still invincible.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize