Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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