haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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