Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
