Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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