Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
