So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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