how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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