i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize