Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
