what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
