Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
