Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
