about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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