She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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