I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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