question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
