its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
