Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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