I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
