if you like me you must not know who I am
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
