Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
