this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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