Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Welp...herpes.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
