i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
