Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
