Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
