I threw up into my coffee this morning.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
