I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
