I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize