just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How does it feel to date your dad?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
