after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
