i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
