Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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