its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
