im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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