The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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