she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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