i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
