The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Welp...herpes.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
