Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
