so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My life is pants optional.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
