Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
