i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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