Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
