wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
