i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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