Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I wanna go to beed woth a nboy

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

:( I miss blowjobs.

(973): View more from New Jersey

This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.

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(206): View more from Washington

you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.

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(586): View more from Michigan

hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink

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(720): View more from Colorado

Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.

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(815): View more from Illinois

He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.

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(425): View more from Washington

Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage

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