I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
