I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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