he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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